Let's be frank...I have at least 100 pounds to lose, maybe closer to 120.
There. I said it.
Let's be honest that's A LOT of weight. We are talking "Biggest Loser" kinda weight loss. For a long time I have been in denial about how heavy I have let myself become. But as I sit and write this blog I know NOW is the time. Now is the time I am going lose this weight. Now is the time to stop holding myself back because of my weight. Now is the time I am going to stop hiding myself in my apartment because I am ashamed at what I have become.
I have always been heavy. ALWAYS. From some of my earliest memories my Grandma, who I am built just like, always said we weren't fat, we were "sturdy" women. My brother that was just older that I was always knew what to say to make me feel like I was fat. Some of his favorite rude words included "thunder thighs" "beached whale" or when I walked by he would "Mooooo" at me. And then there were rough years of junior high and high school. While being a size 12/14 wasn't huge, I wasn't a size 4/6. I never dated, even when some of my best friends were boys, because I was always the "best friend" never the "girl friend". While I would like to think it was something else, I am sure it was because of my weight.
Looking back now I know I have become overweight because of my relationship with food. My relationship with food has ruled my world. We could talk forever about what my problems with food are but to some it up, food was my friend. When I would have hard times in life, I always turned to food. Food never made fun of me. Food was always there when nobody else was. Food never let me down.
Now is the time to change my relationship with food. If I am going to lose this weight and become the person that I want to be food my become fuel for my body and not an excuse.
No comments:
Post a Comment